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| Quest For The 'Promise Land:' Wk. 2... |
| 11.19.03 (11:28 am) [edit] |
[image]stormyweather_3105 54744.jpg[/image] Holly and Me (11/14/03)
Well, I've been in Dallas for about a week and a half now...during this time, i decided to venture to New Orleans...If you read my last blog? haha, you know I was a bit out of it, probably having too good of a time! Anyway, i decided to go there to hang out, party, and rub it in that I'M SO COMPLETELY OVER him...yeah, saw josh. [u][b]NO SPARKS[/b][/u]...i knew there wouldn't be, (My heart is w/someone else) but i just couldn't pass up the opportunity to rub in the fact that: [i]"i'm in a better place now and you suck..."[/i] :twisted:
Anyway, I met some cool people, saw some old friends....had a [b]DAMN GOOD TIME[/b]! I couldn't live in a place like that...i would never get anything accomplished other than parties-parties-parties! So, for me?? Dallas is looking pretty good still...
I'm leaving tonight to go road-tripping w/my mom and joel (her hubby), to Michigan....AAAAH [b]YES, MICHIGAN![/b] i'll finally get to see my little, brand-new nephew, luke!! i can't wait!! and the rest of my family will be home too! everyone together...that's what the holidays are all about, right? family....weird to me, that i'll finally be a part of it again. we'll see how it goes. i'm psyched that it should be a [i]joyous[/i] time!
I was asked, the other day..."What are your chances of really coming back to Dallas?" I'm already tired of sitting on my a$$, feeling like i have no purpose in life... so, therefore, i have plenty of time to think about the pros and cons of each place i was considering....to let you all know??
Michigan-ruled out-i hate snow, although my sister julie [b]is [/b]there...i wasn't expected to come home early, so i know how i am...if i go there to stay for now? I'll never be happy...especially because i foresee myself getting stuck in a rut...dead end job, no degree...i love Jewelz, but i know she supports the decision to not come home to Michigan for good...
Virginia-ruled out-did i mention i hate snow? yes, i know my sister Michelle and her baby and hubby are there. it'd be nice to be close to them for a while too, and i'd have the opportunity to finish school, but i think w/their brand-new family?? best for me to stay @ a distance...she supports my decision, no matter what it is...she, plans to move closer to family w/in the next year (back to michigan) so, i'd hate to get comfortable there...then have to move in the middle of trying to get my stuff accomplished.....
California-i plan to move there permanently...just not right away, after all...I'd like to go there ready to hit the city w/a bang...not to try and finish school at the same time...besides, Dallas is only 18hrs away from my father...I can drive when i want to go visit....he thinks i should give my mom a chance...(big reason there)
Texas?? i'll be back...something exciting about trying to take over the world, huh? well, i'm only one woman...i consider myself to be exciting & adventurous...so, i'm trying to take over the world ~ one city @ a time!! :D
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| i wanna be.... |
| 11.15.03 (3:11 am) [edit] |
so, i'm sitting here and i'm trying decide i want to be a little 'different'....you know the whole scene...the one where your so worried....anyway, i'm chillin' here having a good time...me and holly will never be the same !!! girl, this is my online 'vent' screen, so i like to call it huh?
anywqy here i am l..oth'ed out and guess what???? still i get a date for the ball........just kidding Zemanda@msn.colm... anyway i love you and just wanted to let you know that im doin okay....i will call tomorrow!
p.s. j says hi????? oh, my camera is dead too on my phone so i will stay on top of that.....i love you guys and cant wait too see you all....i love you.....bye!!!
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| Quest For the 'Promise Land:' Wk.1... |
| 11.11.03 (11:48 pm) [edit] |
I arrived in Texas last Saturday afternoon. I know my mom has to work alot this week...but, i figured it'd be good to see her anyway. We haven't always gotten along in the past...I mean, we have had some pretty [i][b]'heinous'[/b][/i] arguements...resulting in months of not talking to one another.
Anyway, when she decided to move to Dallas, I used to tell her: '"There is no way in hell i would ever come visit!" I figured there was nothing for me to do here, so why bother? I know alot of people from Texas. I couldn't see myself as being one of those cow-girls who lived and died by bull-riding and 'chili cook-offs'....
Well, I was once again proven wrong. :o I'm impressed with how nice it is here! The weather is nice...a little chilly, but there is no snow, (I like that.) There is alot of opportunity here (if you want to go get it), and there is so much space here. I mean, at first I was like: "Great. Mom, you live in the B.F.E.," but after I got out and started going places, everything is so close to downtown....
If only I knew where I was going half the time I'd be okay...I get lost every time I get behind the wheel lately. I dunno....maybe it's because i haven't taken a road trip in awhile, or maybe it's because i forgot that road maps really do exist... :roll: But don't worry...you could never possibly NOT know you're in the state of Texas...They have cutouts of the state plastered everywhere!
I've been out a couple of times now...I went with my friend, j (sat nite) and his sister, to what they call the 'west-end' where we hung out @Dick's...if you've never been? go, you'll have a good time around the sarcasticly-humored waitstaff....then we walked around downtown...it was really a relaxing, chilly, fun-time! They have horse drawn carriages here too...haha i don't know why, but I thought that was odd for some reason.
On Sunday, I went to the Galleria Mall...it's 5 stories...wow, I forgot (almost) what a real mall looks like! They even had an ice-skating rink in the first floor...no, i didn't skate...they were putting one of those [b]HUGE[/b] 5 story-high x-mas trees in...
This week? I'm hanging out, watching what goes on around here....taking it all in.... My mom has to work alot and she's closing on her new house. Things are busy as usual...just not for me, really....but, hey?? it's only been 4 days...haha :D Noone is expecting anything out of me and that feels [b]EXCELLENT[/b] @the moment, yet weird @the same time...
But, I do like Dallas, TX...i even like the state flag :wink: who knows? [i]maybe[/i] i'll be back to kick it around here, in [i]cowboy country [/i]for the year...
:lol:
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| The Beginning of the Rest of My Life... |
| 11.09.03 (7:29 pm) [edit] |
Well, I walked into work last friday and it happened...Yep, i'm officially a civilian again! I was so happy i could've kissed my mgyst...the woman i couldn't stand for so long.
I'm a little saddened by the way this all came about...but everything happens for a reason, right? I plan to take this opportunity and do something great in my life for myself...
I'm gonna miss the good times I had over there in hawaii...and especially Toddzilla...but, i know if it's meant to be he'll keep in touch. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
I decided to go say good-bye to my good friend 'Reno' properly....yep, when i say proper?? I mean i smoked some of that 'maui-wowie!' with him...Let me tell ya? It had definitely been awhile...hehe
I didn't think I'd cry...but, when todd dropped me off at the airport, the tears came rolling down....Going off to get high didn't do what i thought it would do for me, when it came time to say good-bye to him...I thought it would ease the pain a little and make it easier, but it only made me over-analyze the situation by thinking too much and i cried harder...I cried all the way to california... :cry:
Anyway, my immediate plan @ the moment is to visit all my friends and family...This year will be the first holiday season in 6yrs i will be home...exciting huh?
I start school in the spring....
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| 'Weathergirl' Nonsense... |
| 11.06.03 (12:49 pm) [edit] |
My Future Forecast...[i](of course, weather people are paid to give an 'educated guess,' right?)[/i]
Mid morning there will be a [u]slight[/u] chance of signature on my pending package, bringing some much needed sunshine later on in the afternoon...Over the next couple of days, after the checkout process is complete, expect to see a flight home...Although, some moderate turbulence maybe experienced throughout the Hawaiian Island chain, as nothing goes my way very smoothly over here...
Also expect to encounter some fog, or haze, if you will (upon being discharged)...during your ride to the airport ~the source is being disclosed, as this phenomena hasn't been seen, in this area now, for quite some time~
After a couple of weeks, moving on into the New Year, things will again begin to settle down as the school semester starts and the job force begins calling...
This will hopefully be the only update...However, please stay tuned for future forecasts...As unforseen hazards, heading toward the area, may cause this storm's path to change... :(
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| Maybe Music To My Ears... |
| 11.03.03 (10:51 am) [edit] |
I walked into my room last night...As i was getting ready to 'hit the hay' that song "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips was playing on the 'easy listening' station...
I think my recent misfortunes would best be described in a monologue from that song~
"Things will change, Things will go your way...If you just hold on to one more day...Maybe things will go your way...Break free, Break from the chains....Hold on to one more day~"
And once again it's Monday morning...better known as 'judgement day'~ My seperations package has been pending, now, for four weeks...they keep telling me 'this should be the week your outa here...'
We'll see...if it doesn't get off the quarter-deck today? I'll know I can pretty much plan on sitting here ANOTHER week...[i]and[/i] weekend! (I speak from the past month's experience.)
Anyway, guess we'll see...(hopefully) I'm wrong and do get out of here...
[i]Maybe things will change and go my way...[/i]this week?? :?
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| "Can I Call You Back??" |
| 11.03.03 (10:32 am) [edit] |
Okay...so, i have yet another complaint!
I know i don't have exciting stories to tell anyone lately, considering i don't get out much...but, i do have 'unlimited' night/weekend minutes included on my phone package...
I usually use my abundant amount of 'free' time to place calls to friends and family...especially on the weekends...
I understand not everyone is just sitting around doing nothing~ like myself~ but most everyone i know has more time to chat during the weekends too...so why is it when you call and they don't have time @ that moment, for whatever reason, to chat they ask you..."hey, can i call you back (in a minute)..."
Look you guys ~ stop f****** w/my emotions please!?!
You know you aren't going to be calling me back for a few DAYS...so don't make it sound like you're gonna call back in a few minutes!!
And when you do decide to [i][b]finally[/b][/i] call? It's usually during the week when i'm @ work....so, feel free to leave a message!
By the way...I don't care if you can't call me back for a couple of days...i just don't like it when you say "a few minutes later" like you're planning on doing it in the same day b/c i tend to find myself [b]WAITING[/b] around for your call....just come out and say 'hey, let me call you back in a few days....'@ least then i know where i stand! :roll:
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| "Big Green Weenie..." |
| 10.30.03 (1:57 pm) [edit] |
Well, looks like this is going to be the beginning of yet [u]another[/u] long, uneventful weekend for me!
Pretty sad, considering I was really looking forward to meeting up w/my friends in the Bay area...can anyone say "PAAARTAY?"
I bought a ticket a few weeks ago ~ I figured "Hey, that weekend is far enough away...yeah, even if everything takes it's time?? I should [u]still[/u] be able to make it for Halloween!! Oh, yeah..."
Um? NO! - Try, "Hell NO, you [u]unlucky[/u] thing you!"
I swear...not only did it [b]NOT [/b]work out? I'm out my ticket, the money for my ticket, AND I get to sit by while everyone else gets all dressed up to go out and party! To top it all off....
You'd think United Airlines would waive my fee ~ $100 ~ (due to the fact that I'm an active duty marine on orders...one's i CAN'T change) to change the dates on my ticket, or maybe even credit my account the $150 to put toward another ticket?? Hell NO! i got no love their either - go figure?
Oh well...you win some, you lose some? Same old song & dance for this girl these days...
All I have to say now to everyone??
"For all you weekend party-goers...have a safe, fun, [i]picturesque[/i] Halloween weekend...I'm dressing up as a United States Marine on restriction...don't worry ~ I'll make sure I stay hydrated and drink plenty of gatorade and water for all of you party-animals!" :?
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| So, You Got Probed? |
| 10.28.03 (2:55 pm) [edit] |
I was talking to my friend 'J' last week...Actually, we chat everyday, but last week he decided to share with me his recent visit to the doctor...
Everyone has those trips to the doctor they dread...you know, the ones where you have to under-go an 'annual' exam...
I guess, we women, are just used to what all goes on during [i]ONE OF THOSE APPOINTMENTS[/i]...although, I don't particularly think we ever 'get used' to the probing of cold clamps in places the sun doesn't shine...we @least know how to deal w/it, to the point where it is just a 'fact of life'....not a big 'ordeal.'
Well, poor 'J' felt so violated b/c he is @that age in life where the doctor no longer needs you to just "turn your head and cough"...he [u]also[/u] needs you to drop your drawers and bend-over. You guessed it ~ Prostate Examination in full effect!
This is gross, but I couldn't stop laughing...
He said he could still feel the lube between his butt-cheeks on the drive home!! :lol: hehe....
Sorry, 'J'...better to have had it done, rather than not @all ~ it is all for the good of your "goods"...and health too!
On a lighter note?? Millions of men before you had to go through it...and millions more after you will have to go through it...you, my friend, are just an [b]experienced[/b] one now...
I still Love You! :D
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| Where the Sidewalk Neverends... |
| 10.28.03 (1:24 pm) [edit] |
My old room-mate called me back last night...I had left a message on her machine about the ticket I had purchased to come visit for the weekend...I think I might have to change it because of an 'issue' pending over here...then again? Hopefully not....we'll see.
I've been EXTREMELY irritable lately...talking to me can be [u][b]THAT[/b][/u] difficult @times - People, I understand this!
Anyway, she makes this comment about how "Getting out used to be enough, now it doesn't seem like it's enough..." Well, you're partially right, but i think mostly...I'm just misunderstood!
Folks, this analogy i have come up with pretty much sums it up:
I have moved from the beautiful island of Oahu, Hawaii to the dreaded isle of Alcatraz...My camouflage uniform serves as a prison suit...My barrack's room is better known as my 'cell'... I check in every two hours with the warden (some of you might of heard of him/her refferred to as a DUTY?)...and [b]REGARDLESS[/b] of my behavior being 'good' or 'bad' i might get an NCO to take me on an outing to a place called WORK!!
So, let me apologize for my frustration or lack of enthusiasm, if when you talk to me @times I can be a little impatient...[i][u][b]NOT EVERYTHING IS HAPPY IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT[/b][/u][/i]...a.k.a. 'my head!'
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| 42 days/42 nights... |
| 10.28.03 (1:09 pm) [edit] |
Tell me what you've done over the past month or so - if you can't remember that far back? a week will do...
Anything has got to be better than what i've been up to...and what's even more sad than the list i've come up with? The fact that for a minute I kind of thought I accomplished something ~or maybe even forgot to 'add' something~
In the past 42 days I have gone to the store, myself, (w/an NCO of course) a total of 9 times! I had to combine the main exchange w/the 7-day-store to make it seem like I actually got out to do some 'shopping.' Only 9, because I hate to shop in my cammies...especially when your work day would've normally been over!
I have been to the doctor (the most) @ a 'whopping' 24 visits...they tell me I'm going to live...that's good to know, huh?
I carved a pumpkin @ the smoke pit of our building ~ don't worry folks, I took pictures! Just because i'm stuck here like this, I didn't see a reason to [b]NOT[/b] be festive! Besides, don't the freaks come out this time of year anyway?
I went to church twice...everyone sins~EVEN ON RESTRICTION~so confession is supposed to be a mind clearer...I am still wishing [b]ILL[/b] thoughts of hell and havoc on certain people (they tell me this is a bad thing)...hey? I'm trying...
Finally, I've been to the gym only around 20 times or so...maybe a little less?...I lost count ~ the motivation of becoming a "hard body" while enduring this torture has faded ~ I live in a building w/a bunch of shift-workers...being that i can only go w/an NCO, god forbid I might ask to do something productive that cuts into everyone else's beer drinking time....Enough said... :?
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| Burned By Venus... |
| 10.28.03 (12:55 pm) [edit] |
I know I don't have the reputation of being the 'luckiest' person in the world...or event the smartest...so you'd think I could make up for those qualities w/some 'common sense?' apparently not today!
So, I'm in the shower...I haven't shaved in a couple of weeks. (hey, who am i trying to impress on restriction??) My legs...and other 'stuff'...were a little outa control, and it's sunday...I figure 'what the hell?' spend a few minutes on yourself and...[b]FOR THE LOVE OF GOD[/b]...just shave!
Well, low and behold I don't have a replacement head for my 'trusty' Venus razor - go figure? So, what do I do? Yep, shave anyway, knowing my skin will probably get a LITTLE irritated since the razor was a month too old...but hey? nothing I didn't figure couldn't be relieved by a little Bikini Zone...Yep, you guessed it again - don't have any of that stuff left either - Needless to say, I'm stuck here w/a massive razor rash in the area where your legs meet 'the rest of your body'...
Ya know? the spot where your underwear 'chafes' (sp?) @your skin?? thanks to the burn, I am now stuck walking around like I have a cob stuck up my butt & no cream to relieve the rash - [b]OOUCHY![/b]
Oh well...note to self..."Don't be a [i]'charley-cheap-a$$!'[/ i] Spend the money on new razor heads SOONER...you'll avoid the burn and those irritating little white bumps! duh?" :idea:
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| Color Me 'Happy'... |
| 10.23.03 (12:45 am) [edit] |
You've been asked the question (@ least once) in your life...Who, what, (or even) where makes you happy or happiest?
I've decided it's important to really sit and think about your answer(s) to that question...no matter how 'stupid' or 'funny' or even 'Un-important' you may feel they are, because when you hit that "low point" for a brief moment? it really does make you feel better to think "HAPPY THOUGHTS"...
Happiness for me (right now) is...
~My sister, a new 'mommy' (surrogate mother of my brand-new son, Luke Allen)
~My sister, the new mommy...who sends me 'care packages' in the mail...where would i be w/out Jolly Rancher Suckers, Snoopy Coloring books, and crayons?
~My sister, the same new mommy...who cares so much about me & my college degree...she offered her home to me, free of room and board for a year, so that i may dedicate that time to finishing school...
~My friends, who have long since left the island a while before me, but have kept in touch...I'm so excited to see you both Halloween weekend!
~MUSIC...there's a song for everything, so listen to it! "Don't Worry, Be Happy!"
~Freedom...we all have it to a degree, but when you're in the military? well, let's just say not everything is a 'freakin' democracy....enough said...
I feel happy now! :D
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| Define Crazy... |
| 10.23.03 (12:28 am) [edit] |
Friday, Oct. 10th, 2003 will forever stick in my memory, as the day i thought i had completely gone "crazy."
You see, people who know me would have defined me as crazy before that day. "Crazy" in the sense of being outgoing, exciting, wild~never a dull moment around me...i used to be a proud owner of that 'persona,' so to speak...Noone, not even me, (in my right mind) would've considered me to be the type of person to be crazy in the sense of having a 'nervous breakdown' or being so depressed i just 'lose my f****** mind.'
So, i did...i had become so depressed over the past couple of weeks, i did something stupid landing me a first class ambulance ride straight to the local hospital where i ended up having to spend 3 days and 2 'not-so glorious' nights recovering from my 'near death experience.'
Am i proud now, that in my depression and moping around in my own self-pity, i ended up hurting those who mean the most to me?
Am i proud now, that they even had to get a phone call @ a 'wee' hour in the morning from a priest - whom they didn't know - explaining, in not so many words, that i was lying on my (what gratefully became NOT) my potential death bed?
And finally...Am i proud now, knowing i'm a hypocryt?
Why would i be a 'hypocryt' you might wonder? Because I once had to give a safety brief to some co-workers on Suicide Prevention...to make the short story even shorter? i figured in the back of my mind..."if you're gonna do it? do it the right way the first time."
So again...am i proud? "i WAS six feet from the edge ~ (maybe six feet ain't so far down?) -Creed
No, i'm not proud at all rather embarrassed, for my lack of self control...and deeply sorry to my friends and family for feeling extremely "unwell" (-rob thomas) to the point i could fathom being so selfish...........
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| Herbology Virgin... |
| 09.28.03 (3:42 pm) [edit] |
herbology has been around for many years...since, before any of us were thought of that's for sure! i, myself have heard of those people who believe in the natural healing powers some herbs have, and of different herbs you can even take to help you lose weight...i.e. herbal life? personally, i have been optimistic about if i even believe this to be true. so, i've never considered trying any of this "natural" stuff...until now....
recently i ran into a bit of trouble where my job is concerned...i'm in the military...so restriction was an answer to my boss's problem w/me. since i now have the FREEDOM of going to work and then going home and checking in every hour until 9:45p, i don't exactly have the freedom to hit the gym as often as i have before (@ least not without what i like to call a 'babysitter')
i have been known to be a rather VAIN person @ times, stopping to check myself out in the mirror whenever the opportunity presents itself. i've been known to take FOREVER to get ready to go out with friends. i've even been known to change my clothes 5 or 6 times while getting ready to go out, be done with getting ready, stop to check myself out one last time, and then decide it doesn't work and start the whole process over....i guess i can be too self-critical huh? i don't have a huge ego....i blame it on the fact that i'm a 6'1" woman, A LEO, and not built to fit into that universal size 5 pair of pants.
thank goodness my 'partner in crime' has the same problem. while we've been enduring this type of 'hell,' we came across this herbal tea made of oriental herbs and bamboo leaves...(regular strength) Dieter's II True Slim Tea, in an effort to help us keep our weight down as well as maybe shed a few extra pounds, since we are less active these days and will be through the next month.
Ladies...let me tell ya. it's not for the 'ill at heart' if you know what i mean? let me just share with you my story! last night i drank the 1 cup of tea around 6p..i decided i hadn't eaten anything all day and was getting a bit hungry, so i ordered a grilled chicken sandwich @ around 730p. i finished the sandwich and about 15 to 20min later i was walking down the catwalk of my building (on the first floor), that's when it "hits" me...OHMIGOD!! i got this gut wrenching ache in my stomach, while a wave of hot/cold came rushing over me! needless to say i decide i better hurry up and haul ass up the stairs to my floor where i barely made it to the toilet...yep you guessed it, i had to sit there 'for awhile' until the feeling passed....any of you seen Dumb and Dumber?? i felt dumb-EST.....
i am no longer an herb virgin...this stuff really works to 'cleanse' your system of wastes, therefore, allowing you to shed those 'unwanted' extra pounds you may feel yourself carrying around...i will be keeping a record for myself, over the course of the next month, in an effort to see just how far i can take it....that is because i have NOTHING better to do....for those of you out there who take those expensive pills (i.e. ephedra free xenadrine, rip fuel, etc...) this stuff is only around $3 for 30 tea bags...the catch?? find some toilet paper (lots of it) on sale at your local walmart or wherever....you're gonna need it.....
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| LIFELESS IN HAWAII... |
| 09.25.03 (7:35 pm) [edit] |
I'VE ALWAYS PRIDED MYSELF IN NOT BEING TOO EMOTIONAL. MY FAVORITE THING TO TELL PEOPLE IF THEY DIDN'T LIKE WHATEVER IT WAS I SAID OR DID..."I'VE LIVED 23YRS OF MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU, I'LL LIVE 23 MORE, UNLESS THE GOOD LORD UPSTAIRS DECIDES IT'S MY TURN TO GO!" (PRETTY [b]BITCHY[/b] HUH?)
THE PAST FEW DAYS I'VE HAD ALOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS TO SIT BACK AND REFLECT OVER THE PAST THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE. EVERYONE HAS THEIR 'GOOD TIMES' AND 'BAD'...AND EVERYONE HAS THOSE 'SPECIAL PEOPLE' IN THEIR LIVES.
I'M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT THERE IS A SONG FOR EVERYTHING. WHERE WOULD THE WORLD BE WITHOUT GOOD MUSIC ANYWAY?
SO, AS I SIT AND THINK ABOUT THE PAST AND TRY TO IMAGINE MY FUTURE, I'M A BIT TROUBLED BY THE FACT THAT OVER THE COURSE OF MY GOOD AND BAD TIMES WITH THOSE SPECIAL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE CERTAIN SONGS WILL MAKE ME LAUGH, CRY, GET IRRITATED OR JUST PLAIN PISS ME OFF! IT'S A GOOD FEELING, BUT ALSO A SAD ONE...I NO LONGER FEEL THE PHYSICAL CLOSENESS OF THOSE SPECIAL PEOPLE NEAR ME.
SURE, WE TALK ON THE PHONE....WHAT'S A PHONE CALL? WE CHAT ABOUT THE WEATHER, AND MISC. TOPICS...SO, YOU LIKE STUFF? IF YOU WERE A BUG IN THE WIRE, YOU'D HEAR THAT WE DON'T "REALLY" TELL EACH OTHER HOW ONE ANOTHER IS DOING...IT HURTS.
YOU PICK YOUR BATTLES TO FIGHT IN LIFE...THE ONES I'VE GIVEN UP ON ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER...
I'M EXCITED, SCARED, AND ALL THOSE EMOTIONS THAT ARE IN THE PIT OF YOUR HEART, STOMACH, AND SOUL....I GUESS I HAVE BECOME 'SOFTER' SO ONE WOULD SAY? WHO KNOWS? I CAN'T SEE THE BIG PICTURE! I'VE BEEN SHELTERED FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS...
BUT AFTER THIS TIDAL WAVE IN MY LIFE PASSES, I WANT ALL OF YOU OUT THERE WHO KNOW ME, THAT A HAPPIER WOMAN WAS BORN...TO EACH OF YOU I MISS, AND HOPE TO SEE AGAIN SOON. WHEN YOU READ THIS? YOU'VE TOUCHED A PART OF ME I DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED AND BECAUSE OF YOU THIS WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE....
SO, THANK YOU....THANK YOU FOR THE EXPERIENCES WE'VE SHARED, [u]AND THE IDEA TO TYPE RANDOM THOUGHTS OUT ON THIS WEBSITE TO TAKE THE EMPTYNESS I FEEL OFF MY SHOULDERS[/u]....
ON AN ENDNOTE FOR NOW? I WILL ALWAYS BE HAUNTED BY 80'S SLOW JAMS, 'BOTH J AND JANE' AND BOB'S FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME W/OUT YOU!
*KISSES
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"Darkness on the edge,
shadows where I stand...
I search for the time,
On a watch with no hands...
I want to see you clearly,
come closer than this...
But all I remember,
are the dreams in the mist...
These dreams go on when I close my eyes,
every second of the night I live another life...
These dreams that sleep, when it's cold outside...
Every moment I'm awake, the further I'm away..." ~Heart
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